Many of us with a trauma background did not have loving, attentive, nurturing mothers. They may have been emotionally immature, neglectful, or narcissistic--in other words, they were focused on their needs instead of ours. Often this left us feeling unworthy and unlovable--thinking that we have to fend for ourselves and can't rely on others.
If you are healing from this kind of mothering, you may have been told that you can simply "mother yourself"--but what does that mean, and how do you do it? Being able to mother yourself means giving yourself the unconditional love and attention that you deserved as a child--right now. In order to mother yourself, you have to be able to look inward to see what you really want and desire--and then give it to yourself! Sometimes the first step is simply recognizing that you have needs, and that you deserve to get what you want--because if we feel undeserving, we often put up blocks to the very things that would make us happy.
If you are trying to figure out how to mother yourself, opening space for your needs is an important first step. In fact, no matter where we are on our healing journey, we all could probably do more to meet our own needs. So, our question is: What would that look like for you? (For a lengthy discuss of mothering yourself, see the March 23, 2024 episode of our podcast.)
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