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  • Writer's pictureRonni and Jennie

How to Identify Red Flags in Abusive Relationships

Those of us who have grown up with abuse, or other forms of trauma, are at increased risk for becoming involved in an abusive relationship later in life. And it's certainly not because there is something "wrong" with us, or that we somehow seek it out. People who abuse others are looking for someone they can control, and they will run their game on everyone they meet, trying to suck someone into their orbit.


Abusers are manipulative, and typically seem like very caring and attentive people...at first. For example, they might text or call often, just to say, "hi...I'm thinking of you...I miss you." This can seem endearing. But over time, that "loving" behavior becomes a mechanism for control: "You didn't answer me right away. What were you doing? Who were you with??"


By this point, you may be committed to the relationship, which makes it much harder to leave--the abuser is counting on that. That's why they wait to show their true colors. And having abuse in your background makes it more difficult to see the red flags as they pop up along the way. So the key to protecting yourself is recognizing when relationship dynamics are starting to take an ugly turn--at the earliest possible moment. Our March 30, 2024 podcast will give you some key information that may help you, or someone you care about.

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