No one likes to see someone suffer--especially someone we care about deeply. But those of us who are healing from childhood trauma face additional challenges in these circumstances.
If you were made responsible for the feelings of your parents, you might see it as your job to make everyone happy--often by solving their problems for them. Or you may be trying to heal co-dependent tendencies that you developed in order to survive. This means that you might have difficulty with boundaries, making it hard for you to tell where you end and the other person begins. All of this means that we might jump head first into trying to "fix" things for the people we love as our first, "natural" impulse.But when we do this, we rob our loved ones of opportunities to learn and grow on their own--we may even leave them with the feeling that we think they are incompetent.
Stepping back and letting people live their lives--while loving and supporting them when they ask for help--is one of the greatest gifts we can give them. It is also an important sign of our own growth and healing. (For more on this topic, see our June 8, 2024 podcast.)
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